mybeardeddragons.co.uk

Discussion and Advice Forum for Bearded Dragon Lovers
It is currently Mon Dec 18, 2017 10:01 am

All times are UTC [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 6 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: A bit of British humour
PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 10:10 am 
Offline
FIRST JOB
FIRST JOB

Joined: Thu Oct 08, 2009 9:51 am
Posts: 565
Location: Littleborough, nr Rochdale, Manchester
HI this was posted on another forum (chicken) that i visit thought i would share it.

As reported in the newspaper...

Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house."
> (The Daily Telegraph)



Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.

> (The Guardian)

At the height of the gale, the harbour master radioed a coastguard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge.
However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff.

> (Aberdeen Evening Express)


Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He
was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler.'"
> (Bournemouth Evening Echo)

A list of actual announcements that London Tube drivers have made to their passengers...

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction."

"Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any."

"Let the passengers off the train FIRST!" (Pause.) "Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care -- I'm going home...."

"We can't move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the door."

"Please move all baggage away from the doors." (Pause..) "Please move ALL belongings away from the doors." (Pause...) "This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down, Four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your arse sideways!"


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 12:35 pm 
Offline
JUVENILE
JUVENILE

Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2010 8:02 pm
Posts: 233
Location: sadley broke Bristol
Work is now looking at me side ways as I'm laughing away to my self :lol:

_________________
1 beardie 1 iguana 1 ball python 1 daughter


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 6:24 pm 
Offline
FIRST CAR
FIRST CAR
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2010 8:15 pm
Posts: 1057
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
LOL @

"Please move all baggage away from the doors." (Pause..) "Please move ALL belongings away from the doors." (Pause...) "This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down, Four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your arse sideways!"


Lindy..x

_________________
1 HUSBAND (woohoo) - IAN
1 BD - PUGSLEY
1 DOG - FERGUS
1CAT - HAMISH
1 TROPICAL AQUARIUM


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 9:44 pm 
Offline
Site Admin
Site Admin
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jun 30, 2006 8:04 pm
Posts: 6794
Location: Essex
They are absolutely brilliant! Thanks for sharing! :lol:

_________________
Trish

Bearded Dragon: Fiona
R.I.P Shrek and Stumpy - you are sadly missed.

For articles and useful information about how to care for Bearded Dragons visit the main site: http://www.mybeardeddragons.co.uk


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:07 pm 
Offline
FAMILY LIFE
FAMILY LIFE
User avatar

Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2008 5:37 pm
Posts: 8188
Location: Macclesfield, Cheshire
Very good :mrgreen:

_________________
Kathryn

Bearded Dragon:
Felix born 5/11/08
Bob born 25/12/07 Died 17/1/09 RIP
Hubby and 2 children: Ian, Sophie and Emily
Cats: Suzie and Sheba
Corn snake: Maxxie born 6/8/11

Image


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:14 pm 
Offline
FAMILY LIFE
FAMILY LIFE

Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2008 12:54 pm
Posts: 6975
Location: West Yorkshire,England
Very funny! :lol:

_________________
Janine

1 beardie - Oz born @ 5th March 2008
Son / daughter - Joshua & Jessica
1 dog - Blackie
Guinea pig Jasper, Rabbit Daisy


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 6 posts ] 

All times are UTC [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group